The Interview Q&A

Where are you primarily based out of?

Brooklyn, NY.

What role do you typically play on set?

Director of Photography, Camera Operator, 1st Assistant Camera

How long have you been working in the film industry? Where did you get your start?

I've been working in the industry for 5 years, however, we had a pretty formal film school. We had very tight run productions with the formal roles of a film set outlined. I started formally being a 1st and 2nd AC, camera operator, and DP my junior year, so 7 years ago. Parts of my road to filmmaking are cliche, and some are a bit more random. Essentially I used to act in high school (nothing notable) but I would adapt scenes from books. I'd write the screenplays, direct my friends who operated the camera for me, act in them, and edit them. I did love trying to recreate looks of films and photos I'd seen in an attempt to get my videos to be more cinematic. My father being a hobbyist photographer helped my cause too in understanding exposure and basic camera functions. I'd look at film like, let's say, The Hunger Games, and I would see a close up shot in the woods and think, "That looks so nice! Why does that look better than my work? Why do those two shots cut together better than mine?" Through doing that I accidentally learned a lot of film rules before going to film school. Then I went the film school route where I worked on a shoot, mine or of friends, almost every weekend for four years, and immediately moved to NYC exactly a week after graduating in May 2018.

What are some of the biggest challenges you've encountered and how have you overcome them?

Five months after graduating, in October 2018, the internship that was supposed to turn into a full time job where I make a load of cash and solve all my problems and make my family proud, didn't hire me. I freelanced for a whole year, which was not very successful. My jump into freelance work was magical and serendipitous, and October, November, and December were decently busy, but it didn't last through the slow season. My slow season lasted until May 2019. My parents had to pay my rent for two of those months, but sadly I'm not a nepo baby so that's all they could afford.

I had my lowest points of my life during those cold winter months. I felt like a loser. Seeing all my peers around me being successful really stung. Not making money affected my self worth. I couldn't find a job of any kind, full time, part time, or freelance. I was the DP of one short film but my imposter syndrome was very loud; I didn't do my best work by any means. My closest friends all had full time jobs so they'd invite me out, and I'd try to not spend money but I had no choice. I maxed out my credit card to try and keep up with everyone. I felt talentless and stupid to be attempting working in this industry. To be frank, I really, really hated myself at that time. I was extremely depressed and anxious, I cried every day. Everything was attached to money. I was totally blinded by the capitalist grind; I had no ability to be objective or take advice or understand the freelance world. Sadly, I didn't really understand what I needed to overcome this self doubt until much later.

The work picked up after May 2019, and I had a decently busy summer, so with that I felt better. In October 2019, exactly one year later, I found a full time job. It certainly solved a lot of problems for me, and I didn't love it at the time, but everything happens for a reason. That full time job kept me in New York during the pandemic. I was able to pick up freelance work on the side on set, all which came from the connections I had that single year I freelanced.

The job itself was very depressing. It's no one's fault, I was just not doing what I loved. There was another wave of depression that creeped in after 2020, not just from the pandemic, but from having a terrible boss for a year. Not only was I producing/directing virtual shoots (which I did 30, each being 4-8 hours in length) but the bad boss really drove me into a spiral. He was inevitably fired, but I had to take a lot of time unlearning the silly things he tried to teach me. Once he left, I liked my new boss, but the job was still challenging in the sense that I knew I wasn't being seen for all my potential and what I could do for them.

When I was the DP of our in house shoots, there were a lot of men on the in house crews that wouldn't light how I had asked them to. I'd make lighting diagrams and they would insist certain lighting set ups I wanted "wouldn't work" although I had done very similar things before. They wanted to do the same old thing they did for every brand. I think we came to an understanding over time, and they appreciated my different style, but working with them taught me a lot of patience. In the beginning I really had to fight (with kindness) to get what I asked. In hindsight, the job taught me a lot of patience and skills I can take with me now, like communicating with producers, having an intense attention to detail, communicating with difficult personalities, and finally, knowing how to direct non filmmakers (thanks, Zoom shoots!) But I felt trapped for 2.5 years. The moments of hope were these little freelance jobs I picked up. I knew one day I'd freelance again, and it would be everything I had hoped for. I just had to save money and find the right time to quit.

When I was laid off May 2022, I had a new outlook. I already wanted to quit my job, so essentially I was paid to quit. I felt confident freelancing. I kept working towards making this community, and I texted everyone I knew I was laid off, posted on socials, etc; and this community caught me. So many people reached out with little jobs, people met with me for coffee; it was a pivotal time in my life. I had a very "say yes" attitude, and I took every job or passion project that came to me. I met incredible people in this time. Funny enough, I was very anxious for other reasons (moving was a big ol' mess) but my faith in myself freelancing was solid. I had learned from my first abbreviated attempt at freelancing: I can't stress about money. I can't attach that to my self-worth. A few years of being ground down and humbled by a corporate machine somehow gave me the outlook I needed to feel like I belonged here. Everyone is just doing their best. There is no magic way to "make it." It's all about opportunities, so I want to make the best of each one that comes my way.

Who is your biggest inspiration? What have they taught you?

A few names that come to mind are Reed Morano, Lee Isaac Chung, Lynn Ramsay, Greta Gerwig, and Natasha Braier. What a lot of the folks in this list have in common is they're all storytellers first. They find inspiration in their lives and aren't afraid to dig deep. Natasha Braier in particular once had a Zoom seminar type thing where she talked about her experience of being a woman on set, which are usually male dominated spaces. She gave so really interesting advice that I still stick to everyday and that has made me a better crew member.

What does it mean to you to be an inspiration/mentor to someone else?

I love to share knowledge of the film world to anyone who will listen. It's cheesy but it really is all I think about all the time. For a couple years I was a teaching assistant in college so I certainly feel like teaching is part of learning in a way. There's so many people who love to gatekeep in this industry, and I never want to do that. Sometimes it's hard to find those people who teach versus judge, I know it was hard when I was starting, so if I can be the type of person I was looking for then to someone else, then I feel like I've used my power for good. I believe you get what you put out into the world, so if I can help anyone on their journeys I am very happy to.

Where do you draw your inspiration from?

For cinematography work, there are so many beautiful films, series, and even commercial work out there and of course I draw some inspiration from that, but I try my best to be careful. There's a sort of feedback loop these days in the world of media; everything is so easy to access that so much can look the same. The main two places I do draw inspiration are real life and those films doing funky things. By that I don't mean copying or paying homage to those projects, but I mean that those untraditional approaches to lighting, or coverage, or camera moves, push me to think how I can find something new in the work that is true to the story and the locations we're shooting in. I could also say paintings, photography, and other pieces of art inspire as well, but it depends on the project. Real life ends up being the biggest inspiration. I have so many photos saved in a folder in my phone with lighting or little camera moves, weird perspectives, and otherwise. Trying to understand real people and using my experiences to inform stories I'm writing or shooting helps a lot too. There's so much we already have inside us that can be used to drive our work. If you're not looking inward, you're missing out.

If you had one message to share with the world, what would it be?

The energy you put out in the world is what you get back. I said that earlier, but I really believe it. If you're considerate, generous, and a team player, I think you'll get back so much of that in return. So much of this industry is luck. You have to work hard to get that luck, but we're all one big project away from leveling up. If you work hard and are kind, chances are that will take you farther than being a jerk.

What’s are some of the biggest things you’ve accomplished in your career so far?

I'm still starting out, but there's certainly plenty of work I'm proud of. A sketch comedy pilot called One Million Girls is beginning the festival run and is promising, winning Best Of Late Night at its premiere at SeriesFest this year. Another project I shot recently called 'You Mourn Weird' formerly known as 'Grief,' was the other biggest budget I'd worked with so far, and I got to light a whole church with my fantastic gaffer. Lake Pluto, a film I was DP for, had a great festival run. Another short I'm director of photography for later this year, The Captives, has the biggest budget I've worked with and so I'm keen to really get to play. My short film, Elena, didn't have a huge festival run but I'm still proud of shooting on 16mm and it was the first film where the look turned out how I had hoped.

Where do you see yourself in 5 years from now? (No dream is too big!)

The past year of freelancing has been the best, and I'd hope if the growth is exponential, that I'd be a DP in the Local 600 five years from now. I'd love to be working on narrative feature films or series, and some bigger commercial and fashion gigs too. Hopefully I could start directing more projects then as well. I know careers take long times to take off so it's okay if that's lofty. I love what I do and I'm in no rush. :)

If you had one piece of advice for a woman who wants to get started in the film industry what it would be?

There is no wrong way to get started, so if you want to do it, find your way to jump in, start making work, and building a community. Create as much as you can with what is accessible to you. Ask friends to help you, ask people around you for advice on how to achieve shots. The best way to understand how to direct or DP, is to shoot films and see them edited. Even if you're making projects on your phone, there's so much you can do these days that you should just make things. Even if it's bad, it will teach you loads more than reading. Additionally, what's really important is get on (organized, well-run) film sets, see how more experienced people do it, and just meet people non stop. See how people treat their crew members and how they communicate. See how people light and decide on camera moves and how they talk with actors. Although I don't believe in gatekeeping, I think there is still a hierarchy that should be understood and followed for maximum efficiency. And all the while you're learning, hopefully you're doing a good job and making good impressions, so you can keep getting hired and keep working your way up. It is really important to check your ego at the door. If you're a PA or a 2nd AC and you're coming across as above the job, that's one way to never get hired again. This was very much not one piece of advice, but the short answer is: get on shoots any way you can, and meet people. Be kind.

What does being a part of The Women in Film Project mean to you?

I'm just really happy to be here. :) And I do mean I'm quite honored to be part of The Women in Film Project - I am still quite early in my career but I'm honored to share my story, and I hope other young women and non binary folks can not feel so alone in this sometimes daunting industry. When I was starting out it was hard to feel comfortable on some sets that were so male dominated. It is a reality of this industry, and so many men are really lovely and kind, but we've all had those shoots where there's such a monster on set you almost want to go home. I just want people to know that you can make your own community. It's not going to happen over night, but I regularly work on shoots that are mostly women/enbys/queer people all the time. Over the past five years, I've found a community, and I just want to inspire folks to do the same :)